Indeed, Charlotte has been in charge! She's the former Chairman and CEO of Ogilvy & Mather Worldwide, Undersecretary of State for Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs, and the first woman to appear on the cover of Fortune magazine. Today she's a Director for Martha Stewart Omnimedia.
No slacker for sure! More importantly, as a trailblazing advertising executive she stepped up and over the Mad Men who long enjoyed exclusive power. She fought hard on her climb, contending not only with office politics and sexism, but with her own internal sabotaging forces, the same ones she believes hold back women today.
Many of those internal messages impacting our careers we absorbed by default simply by being part of our family of origin. With permission, here are five questions Charlotte recommends you ask yourself if you truly want to be a woman in charge. To give you a sense of how powerful these questions can be, I have shared my own responses and discovery.
1. What did your mother say?
Messages from your mother can have a long life, affecting how you see yourself at work. Parents pass along their own unfinished business and unrealized work dreams. We are susceptible to their idea of good work - when we may never have teased out our own deepest wishes and affinities.
Mothers can be negative about work ("Remember that family is more important than a job," "All your father does is work; that's no life.")
Mothers can be motivational ("Don't stand around and wait for some guy to come along," "Take responsibility for your own happiness and support.")
Some mothers are frankly disempowering ("Why do you want to struggle about evaluations; relax!" "All that really matters is your reputation.")
Mary's response: I remember my mother saying that my sisters and I should get a job and live on our own for a while before getting married so we know we can take care of ourselves. It's practical and empowering. To this day, it's important that I have valuable skills in the career marketing place because the idea of financial dependence on a man (or anyone) makes me very uncomfortable.
2. What did your siblings teach you?
Brothers and sisters (along with cousins and best friends) give us our first practice at dealing with peers and engaging with the opposite sex. When we hang out with our siblings, we practice how to compete. Though their presence in the family, we see more clearly what is valued, who is cherished, and why.
Siblings define our role. We see ourselves in relation to who they are and what they have accomplished.
Siblings can become parents. When parents are preoccupied, older children become caregivers, roles they one day carry over into work.
A closed circle can have a lifelong effect. When siblings do everything together, they go on to expect the same camaraderie at work. This is rare, leading many to find the typical work environment cold and isolating.
Mary's response: My brother, two sisters, and myself are each very different. Living together in a household that stressed harmony, we learned to treat each other kindly and figure out how to get along. Our age differences did help in creating our own identify and space. Today I find myself being comfortable with various personalities and interests; however, I've come to realize from the school of hard knocks that not everyone treats each other kindly.
3. How would you describe your family life?
Strong cultural imperatives are derived from the family. Examine these to understand the work values you hold dearest, such as hard work, loyalty, and conformity to company culture.
Family as maverick? Families that pride themselves on independence, mobility, and uniqueness create individuals that bring that same ethos to the workplace.
When the family is everything you don't want it to be. Some are motivated by the determination not to be contaminated by things identified with their family. This can make for a strong allegiance to a bold career choice and a powerful determination to succeed.
Mary's response: Growing up, we were sometimes called the All American Family, which meant to me we had a Brady Bunch vibe. Harmony was key, which was sometimes in conflict to my independent, maverick spirit that could cause waves. As an adult I have learned to honor that spirit and gain conflict management skills.
4. What was most significant about your family?
The first three questions prepare you for this one. Answering it will crack you open to reveal the core issue from your past affecting your professional life.
Mary's response: What was most is significant about my family is that we actually liked each other and enjoyed each other's company. Though we can't always choose who we work with, I find myself having a low tolerance for spending lots of time working with people who are mean, critical, or a drag. I deeply believe it's possible to work with a team of people who enjoy being together and doing their part towards a common purpose....because I've experienced it.
5. What gifts were you given?
After the first four questions, it is time to step back and see what positive attributes all our early influences, our family, and our environment developed in us - your special talents, drives, and redeeming characteristics.
Mary's response: The lack of open, honest conflict in my family set me up for some eye-opening blows in my early adult personal and professional life. However, those experiences gave me a crash course in things like understanding boundaries, sticking up for myself, and constructively resolving conflict. Not only were these lessons invaluable to me personally, they are core to the work I do with women today!
You've got some answers. Now what?
Shed: Rid yourself of the internal messages that are simply not worth keeping.
Amend: Amend the messages with phrases like, "I don't need that anymore," or "That was important when I was twelve."
Magnify: Take the special gifts that you have discovered and polish and expand them. Every one of us has personal gifts that lie dormant and voiceless but deserve to be activated.
Between reduced resources, nagging uncertainty, and pressures to produce results, today's managers are facing tough challenges. Companies are dramatically reducing their ranks of managers who do not add measurable value to the organization.
In fact, an article by Lynda Gratton in the Harvard Business Review says that "the classic job of the middle management will soon disappear." What's a classic middle management job? Someone whose primary role is to keep things running smoothly. Like a "switching station for data and information" one person said. Much of this role can now be handled using technology. It can monitor performance, provide instant feedback, even create reports and presentations. Plus, more and more teams are increasingly self-managed. They don't want or need some who seems to just be around to tell them what to do when.
In short, Dilbert's days are numbered! Well, really, his pointed headed boss' days are numbered.
At the same time, other research from Ethan Mollick at the Wharton School of Business shows that middle managers may be the most important people in a company-but only if they have the right set of skills for today's work environment.
Now more than ever, what does a manager need to do to be seen as a valuable leader within his or her organization? Well, I have 7 specific strategies for you - to not only make you an invaluable leader but a Bodacious Leader as well.
When it comes to feeling valued and respected at work, it's important to only avoid powerless behaviors. It's also important to pay attention to how people treat you. Is someone playing a power game with you and you don't even realize it? Here are some ways to tell:
Someone initiates a meeting with you but insists that you come to his or her office for no real reason. If he or she is your boss or ranks higher in the organization, this is appropriate. But if the person is your equal or below you, be careful. Suggest that he or she come to your office or meet in some neutral territory such as a conference room or cafeteria.
Someone often keeps you waiting on purpose, but you know it's not just that they're poor at time management.
Someone repeatedly rejects your ideas and insists on new ones in a rapid-fire, high-pressure atmosphere.
Someone is always looking down on you, literally. Some people maneuver themselves and their office furniture to make sure they are always at least at eye level or higher than you. They may be angling for height advantage because they feel at a disadvantage in other ways.
Male or female, someone touches your hand or arm in a familiar way as if to say "Honey, it is going to be alright" or "Don't worry your pretty little head, I can take care of this." If they are touching something else, you have a bigger problem!
Someone is determined to have a blank expression in response to anything you say. Usually a poker face means he or she wants to keep important thoughts hidden.
How do you respond to these power plays? That's up to your personal style and your relationship. However, it's important that you take a mental step back and notice what's going on and identify strategies to maintain your feelings of confidence and self-worth.
Indeed, Charlotte has been in charge! She's the former Chairman and CEO of 
