But many a Valentine's Day has come and gone with no jewelry, no roses, no chocolate, and I personally like to shop at Victoria's Secret during a sale. Still, our desire to be loved is the thing we're all really after. Not just in February, either, but all year long.

Feeling loved takes different forms like acceptance, approval, and success. We want desperately to feel good about ourselves. We especially want that special someone to say "You are such an amazing woman that I can't imagine living with you."

I know I've felt that way. I've also unknowingly absorbed the messages of our advertising culture that basically tell us to buy this, wear that, and look this way to get the love you want. That all the attraction is on the OUTSIDE.

The truth is, the real stuff, the best part, is all on the INSIDE.

Loving yourself means not looking to other people or things to do the job. It means filling up your "love bucket" by spending time on you - be it taking a longer coffee break, splurging on a massage, reading a book, or having a fun conversation with a friend.

Our internal good girl might nag us by saying "You should take care of others first before taking care of yourself." Well, again, the good girl isn't quite right. She obviously hasn't been on a plane lately, either. She hasn't heard the wisdom of the airplane safety message: "In case of loss of cabin air pressure, put your mask on first before helping others." By loving yourself first you are best equipped to love and help others. (I swear that safety message must have been written by a Bodacious Woman! )

So, ask yourself "Who you do love?" (in a George Thorogood and the Destroyers kinda way). Are you the first person who comes to mind? If not, perhaps it's time to make some internal adjustment. By loving yourself you give yourself and others the biggest gift possible. Now, that's bodacious!

Being ignorant has never been a smart strategy for your career. That includes office politics. Do you know the five common power bases in organizations - and which ones have the most clout where you work? Your effectiveness in office politics is reflection of how you leverage the various points of power most important to your organization.

Creative Power: How You Apply What You Know

Knowledge is like a great computer or kitchen appliance. It may look pretty and impressive, but it won't do a darn bit of good until you plug it in. The ways you apply what you know - from launching a new product to solving a customer's problem - is the difference between having a reputation for getting results and being a box on an organizational chart.

Would cultivating a reputation as a smart, creative person garner you more political power in your organization? Would people want to know what's on your mind?

Positional Power: What Your Rank Is

Even with the trend towards flatter organizations, often a job title open doors. The company you work for may also be a name that gets attention. Is that true for your organization? If so, are you willing to use your position as leverage to make things happen?

No matter your position within a company, there will be people who look to you precisely for the role you play, your access to certain people, and your unique ability to make things happen in your particular corner. Remember, if your position isn't vital to the business, it wouldn't have been created. If you hadn't been the best candidate for that position, you wouldn't have been hired for it. So claim the political power that comes with it - and use it!

Personal Power: Your Relationship With Yourself

No matter where the source(s) of power lie in your organization, the first hurdle to success happens between your ears.  Does your self-talk routinely dismantle every good idea you have and discourage you from making it known? Do any of the following ring a familiar mental bell?

"I don't feel right pointing out my accomplishments. That sounds like bragging to me."
"Maybe I'd get more respect if I looked better."
"What did I say that would cause him to turn on me like that?"
"I get embarrassed too easily for myself and others."
"I shouldn't go after that big, new project. I haven't worked hard enough."

Alan Weiss, author of Million Dollar Consulting, says this: "Your first sale must be to yourself." If you're not a happy customer, perhaps you've allowed yourself to be negative for too long.

Want more ideas about how to increase your understanding of office politics? Get the eBook What Every Woman Must Know About Office Politics where I share office politics strategies and 7 ways women give away their power at work without realizing it. It's part of my free Sanity, Confidence & Fun Action Pack.

Steve Levinson, co-author of the book Following Through, says that "One in four resolutions bites the dust within a week. About half of them are gone within a month." And what will make you feel even more energized is that Levinson's research reveals that within six months, most resolutions are dead. "They are history. They are toast."

So, why not quit while you're ahead? Don't wait six days or six months. Do it now. Instantly release guilt and create more sanity by simply letting go. And hold on to this thought from Lin Yutang :

"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials."

Ahhh, now we're getting to it. Non-essentials. Things that don't work or don't do enough in our lives. Maybe they used to, maybe at one time you were more interested and wanted to learn and be engaged. Now, it's just a drag.

The book club that's really a wine club and you don't drink. The networking meeting that's mainly small business owners and now you are working in a large corporation. The volunteer committee you are on for a loved charitable organization, but the meetings no longer fit your schedule.

Let go. Quit. It's not only okay, it's good. Very good. For you and for everyone else touched by your involvement. Everyone is freed up to discover new ideas, new people and new energy.

"Quit the wrong stuff, stick with the right stuff, and have the courage to do one or the other" states Seth Godin in his short, powerful tome The Dip: When to Quit and When to Stick.

Quitting definitely takes courage. More courage than creating New Year's resolutions. Because it feels uncomfortable to change your own behavior and awkward to say no. I like Charlie Gilkey's approach to quitting. He calls it "strategic withdrawal" which "recognizes that there are some obligations that we have that we really don't want, but that it's nonetheless important to see them through." So, you see through your commitments without over-doing it, and then don't renew. Now there's a short-term plan you can endure.

Are you feeling better already, relieved that you don't have to fulfill all those well-intended New Year's resolutions? Use that opened-up space in your heart and head to focus on what you really care about and what you really have the passion to achieve. Those are worth sticking to, those are worth achieving, and those are worth not quitting.